Me

 

Here is me in a nutshell... (In interview form)

Some other person: "How old are you?"

Me: "I am old enough to... Wait a minute...Uh, next question, and stick to the script!"

Some other person: "Okay. Where do you live?"

Me: "I live in NC, close to Charlotte. About 30 miles north actually, in a tiny little town I'm sure you've never heard of. Not much goes on there, admittedly, but it's close to lakes and mountains and..."

Some other person: "(Rudely interrupting) Thank you for that in depth response. Keep it simple, we don't have all day. What do you do?"

Me: "I work for Coke, doing what is quite probably one of the easiest jobs ever. I travel around and play, basically. I'm currently looking for "real" work, however, in the programming field.

Some other person: "Real work, you say? What sort?"

Me: "I desperately want to be a programmer. I've been looking for a job in that particular field ever since I graduated last year. So far, I've had no luck at all. It's really quite annoying. Maddening, actually."

Some other person: "So you're finished school then?"

Me: "Yes, thank heaven. Finished in 2002. Hated every minute of it."

Some other person: "What did you study?"

Me: "Computer science."

Some other person: "What do you do for fun?"

Me: "I love soccer. It is fun. It is life. I like to run. I love to snowboard and wakeboard. I like to lift weights. I like to go mountain biking. I like to mess with computers. I like to mess with other people's computers! {sly smile} I very much like to mess with my cars. I like to play soccer. Oh did I mention that already? I like to read books. I like to learn things that will help me out in the future and broaden my horizons. I like to... "

Some other guy: {Interupting me rudely} "Enough man, that could go on for days. So sports and staying in some sort of decent shape and reading and your cars is about it then?"

Me: "Yes. I like sports. And I love soccer. And I love my cars"

Some other guy: "Okay, enough with the soccer thing!! What kind of cars do you have?"

Me: "I have an absolutely beautiful VW GTI and a VW Cabrio."

Some other guy: "A VW man eh? What's with that?"

Me: "If you don't own one, you wouldn't understand. Suffice it to say that they are great cars."

Some other guy: "You are a moron"

Me: "Yes I am"

Some other guy: "So you accept the fact that you are an idiot?"

Me: "Of course. I have no problems with the fact that I am a moron."

Some other guy: "That's just weird man"

Me: "Could be."

Some other guy: "So what are you plans for the future?"

Me: "I would like to get a programming job, buy a boat and wakeboard in the summer, and go snowboarding a lot in the winter. And I want to fix up my GTI even more than it already is."

Some other guy: "You are too big of a moron to possibly be worth anything useful. You do realize that don't you?"

Me: "Yes I do."

Some other guy: "Well, just so we have that out in the open."

Me: "Quite clear, yes. Thank you for reminding me of it lest I forget."

Some other guy: "Hey, no problem. That's what I'm here for. Anyway, that's all the questions on the script. Do you have anything to say?"

Me: "Only this. The world would be a much better place if folks would learn to play soccer. It's really a great thing folks."

Some other guy: {shaking his head in despair}"Okay, well thanks for that little nugget of insight."

Me: "Hey... You're welcome."